I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize