Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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