You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
