I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
