I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Randomize
