Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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