some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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