that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
