i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
