you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
