i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
