I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
