can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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