i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
