Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
