Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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