yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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