I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
