I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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