Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Drake has all the answers
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Iโve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment ๐
Randomize