Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize