Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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