I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
