I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
