i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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