we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
