the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Terrible idea I love it
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize