Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
