i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
