Little spoons don't ask big questions
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
