She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize