Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
