How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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