sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
