She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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