It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
