I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
