Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
