Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
