i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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