Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
