she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
