If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize