they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
