Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
