it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
