Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
