Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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