So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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