So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize