You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
