I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
