Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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