So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
