I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
