let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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