I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
