is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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