You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
