so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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