just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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