Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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