omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize