so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
